


mon coeur

by chiarascura



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiarascura/pseuds/chiarascura
Summary: Surana goes to Val Royeaux on the eve of Divine Victoria's coronation.





	

Val Royeaux was taller than Surana remembered. She pulled the hood farther over her eyes and wound through the labyrinthine streets just outside the city centre. In the darkening twilight, few people paid much attention her, distracted by the bustle of the new Divine’s coronation the next day.  
  
Surana found herself, somewhat unwillingly, standing on the steps of the Grand Cathedral. The place had not changed since she last saw it, all enormous spires and white marble, embodying the wealth and power amassed by the Chantry at the expense of so many others. She hated this place.  
  
A warm body bumped into her, sending Surana slightly off balance. Her hand moved automatically to the coin purse at her belt, and thankfully it remained in place. Glancing at the interloper, Surana found another elf watching her intently.  
  
“ _Madame_? Commander?”  
  
Surana’s spine straightened, a chill running down it and dropping like ice into her belly. “Excuse me?”  Had she been found out so soon?  
  
The stranger dipped her head in greeting. “The nightingale is expecting you, if you’d follow me.”  
  
She let out a relieved breath, the ice in her belly warming at the thought. Of course Leliana knew everything about the city, and she would send an agent for her. She pulled the cloak tighter around her body and followed the agent as they covered a winding path that Surana made sure to memorize. It was possible she’d need a hasty escape at some point in the evening.  
  
Surana didn’t know what type of reception to expect. The last letter from Leliana had been official business, but she could read the care and affection between the lines. Now, though… everything was different. The Wardens had been exiled, so technically she was considered a fugitive in Orlais, and her former companion was about to be raised to the highest seat in Southern Thedas. Surana knew how she wanted their meeting to go, but there was always an element of the unknown.  
  
Finally, they reached a nondescript door in a back alleyway. The agent looked back to make sure Surana stood behind her, then knocked three times, paused, and again three times. The door opened, and the agent led the way through darkened tunnels, torches lighting their way. It smelled dank and earthy, and Surana pointedly kept her thoughts away from the Deep Roads.  
  
The agent turned down corridor after corridor, until they reached their destination. The door opened into a lavish sitting room, likely a library from the floor to ceiling shelves, books of all sizes filling them. The agent nodded to her, then shut the door, which appeared from this side to be just another bookshelf.  
  
Surana drew her finger down the spine of one book, the letters printed into the side feeling familiar under her fingertip. The endless books in the Circle had kept her sane, and this library seemed to exude the same sense of safety and protection.  
  
A noise made her draw away from the books, towards the roaring fireplace. She dropped a hand to the dagger in her belt, touching the hilt in preparation for the unknown.  
  
“You’re here.” Her voice was like a balm, and Surana couldn’t help the way her muscles relaxed, her shoulders dropped and her hand fell away from her side.  
  
“Leliana,” Surana whispered, something hot and heavy growing in her throat. She had been looking forward to this very moment for years, and it lived up to her expectations. She felt awash with feelings, her love and affection and pining and fear all crashing over her.  
  
Leliana smiled, and everything around them fell away. “Oh, my love.” Leliana crossed the short distance until their arms wound around each other, sweet breath on her hair, her lips brushing against her ear, the voice she’d dreamed about for months, years, forever, finally here with her. Surana let out a great juddering sigh and her body relaxed, Leliana’s arms tightening around her, grounding her in the reality of being together.  
  
_She’s here, she’s here, she’s here._ Surana buried her face in Leliana’s shoulder, the press of her taller body warm and solid and perfect against her. Her hair smelled like vanilla, her little happy noises high and breathy, and Surana felt hot prickling behind her eyes. Memories of spending time at camp rose in her mind, huddling together inside their shared tent or in front of the fire, their joyful reunion after the assault on Fort Drakon. That time seemed so far away now, a decade spent apart seeming like nothing in the face of being together now. She needed to remember this moment, to cherish it for the time she had left.  
  
Leliana pulled back to meet her eyes, and Surana cataloged the changes since she’d been away. The crows feet around her eyes had deepened, her freckles had faded, grey hairs peppered the red, but she was still the most beautiful woman Surana knew. All she wanted was to catalog each change for the rest of their lives, maybe spend enough time together that she didn’t see the changes as they happened.  
  
Leliana caressed her cheek with one calloused thumb, and another contented sound fell from her lips. Surana kept her eyes closed, turned her head into the touch and pressed a soft kiss to the heel of her hand. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed, they could have this, they could stay like this and never have to change. Never have to give it up for yet another corrupt institution.  
  
“I’m so glad you made it, my love.” Leliana’s lips brushed across the corner of her mouth, and her other hand squeezed her hip where it lay.  
  
“Of course,” Surana said, somehow keeping her voice level. “I couldn’t… I had to come.” _To say goodbye in person_ , she thought, and had to squeeze her eyes shut against the heat behind them.  
  
“What is wrong?” Both of Leliana’s hands moved to frame Surana’s face, to tilt it upwards with care and gentleness.  
  
“I’m just…” Surana swallowed, tried to speak around the knot in her throat. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, _ma cherie_ , but why are you crying? I’m so happy you’re here.” A note of confusion tinged in her voice, and Surana opened watery eyes to meet her gaze. Leliana’s eyebrows pulled together, a little dip growing between them to match the fine lines that had appeared around her eyes and the corners of  her mouth. She was just so beautiful, just as lovely and loving as a decade ago, and Surana would never stop loving her. “Unless…”  
  
“I’m just not ready.” The words fell from her mouth unbidden. Her hands tensed on Leliana’s waist, memorizing the give and weight of her, so she’d have something to remember.  
  
“You’re not ready? For the coronation?” Leliana’s thumbs were delicate where they brushed under her eyes, wiping away the water trickling there. “If you’d rather not attend, you don’t need to. You can wait here for me, or—“  
  
“No.” The steel returned to her voice. That would be so much worse. Waiting for Leliana to return, now Divine Victoria instead of the young woman she fell in love with, for one last goodbye before Victoria must resume her duties to the Chantry and to Thedas. To be the model for all good Andrastians, to follow the rules set out for her. Waiting for her to turn Surana away, unable to be seen with an elf, a mage, a woman.  
  
Surana knew how this would play out. They’d grow distant, with Victoria putting diplomacy and the fate of the world before her, as she should. Surana understood duty to the world, as she had her own commitments to the Wardens keeping her away. She couldn’t fault her for that, despite how much it hurt.  
  
“This has to be it. I can’t… I can’t do that.” She finally pulled away, cold air biting at the skin where Leliana’s hands had rested.  
  
“Why not?” The sympathy and confusion disappeared from Leliana’s voice, replaced with cold certainty of the Nightingale, the Left Hand in the shadows. “What’s changed?”  
  
Surana scoffed and threw her hands in the air. “Everything’s changed, _Most Holy_ ,” she spat, the words coming out more vicious than she intended. “Everything will be different. You’ll be the Divine, and I’ll be the fugitive Warden Commander. You’ll play the Grand Game, you’ll _run_ the Grand Game and I can’t be a liability for you.”  
  
“A liability?”  
  
She folded her arms in front of her body, shoulders tightening and rising to her ears. “The Chantry will never accept me, not as a person and certainly not as your lover. You’ve worked so hard for this,” she glanced away, “and it’s better than losing you to the darkspawn or assassins, or something worse.”  
  
The fire crackled in the hearth. Surana’s stomach churned, and she wiped the wetness from her face, pivoting away from where Leliana stood motionless.  
  
“May I touch you?”  
  
Surana nodded, and arms wrapped around her from behind. Leliana’s chin came to rest on her shoulder, and Surana couldn’t help leaning back into her warmth. Vanilla and woodsmoke, protection and home.  
  
“I will never forsake you. No one will tell me who I can or cannot love. The Maker brought us together; he chose me to bring change to this world and I cannot think of anyone better to be by my side.” Tears blurred Surana’s vision and Leliana’s gentle hands turned her around, bringing them face to face. “If you must go, I would never stop you, but I want you here by my side. In front of the Maker and everyone. Let those Chantry biddies say what they will, but you are _mon coeur_.”  
  
A warm hand touched her chin, and Surana tilted her face up to receive her kiss like a benediction.  
  
“My first act as Divine,” Leliana said into the soft skin behind her ear, “will be to strike down any laws that stand in our way.” Surana shivered, and Leliana trailed her tongue along the ridge of her ear. “My second act will be to appoint a Mother to officiate our marriage.”  
  
Surana couldn’t help the tears that fell, the utter contentment that filled her, the soaring hope rising in her chest. Her hands tightened on Leliana’s arms at her waist, and she smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> so [theladypirate](http://theladypirate.tumblr.com/) put [amazing tags on this post](https://janeclawsten.tumblr.com/post/148464994037/against-stars-against-stars-the-fact-that) and I was like oh shit i need this in my life
> 
> #Leliana as divine#I romanced her with a female surana#So she's like#dating a female elven mage#And she absolutely doesn't give a fuck#what the rest of the world says#I need a fic where F!Surana Warden#hears the news that Leliana is going to be divine#And she thinks#this is it#this is how I lose her#at least it's not to darkspawn or assassins#And she goes to see her bc she needs to at least one more time#before circumstances tear them apart#And Leliana is like#Oh no#my darling love#what makes you think I'd let anyone#Or anything#tell me our love is inappropriate#just bc i have this fancy new title#And then they smooch#And get married
> 
> also do I need to translate the french for you? they're affectionate names, ma cherie is my dear and mon coeur is my heart <3


End file.
